


a taste of heaven mixed with hell inside of my head

by becasbelt



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Cheating, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied sexy times, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22132534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becasbelt/pseuds/becasbelt
Summary: Beca always goes to Chloe when she and Jesse fight. Things get... complicated.
Relationships: Beca Mitchell/Jesse Swanson, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 10
Kudos: 112





	a taste of heaven mixed with hell inside of my head

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a vague idea, then kind of went in a direction that I wasn't anticipating. Nevertheless, it is here, and hopefully you like it!
> 
> Title from Blitzen Trapper’s God & Suicide

It starts small.

The first time Beca goes to Chloe after she and Jesse fight, she only wants some company. Only wants someone to talk to.

It’s right after regionals, right after Beca gets back from jail. Chloe convinced the other Bellas to stay and wait up for Beca, just in case she needed someone there for her when she got back.

When Beca gets back to her room, she’s surprised that the Bellas are there waiting for her. Of course she’s surprised; who wouldn’t be upon seeing nine girls crammed in their tiny dorm? Beca’s surprised, but she seems pleased that they’re there. At the very least, she’s touched.

After Aubrey shuts down Beca’s suggestions – yet again – the Bellas clear out pretty quickly. Chloe makes to head out as the last of them are leaving, but Beca stops her with a hand on her arm before she can make it through the door.

“Can you,” Beca’s eyes dart around, looking anywhere but at Chloe, “I mean, do you want to, like, hang-“ Beca lets out a huff, seemingly not able to gather her thoughts very well. The corner of Chloe’s mouth lifts in amusement as Beca pauses for a moment and closes her eyes before opening them to meet Chloe’s. “Can you stay? Just, for a little bit?”

Chloe’s eyes soften and she smiles. “Who are you and what have you done with Beca Mitchell?”

Beca groans and shuts the door as Chloe walks back into the room, reclaiming her original spot on the bed. “Please don’t make a big deal out of this. I just,” Beca lets out her breath in a huff again, plopping down in her desk chair. “Jesse’s dumb and I need to be around someone who’s _not_ dumb right now. And I’m too annoyed to be alone with my own dumb thoughts.” She laughs a little and peers up at Chloe. “Plus, if you’re here, maybe Kimmy Jin will stay away for a little while longer.”

Chloe shifts on the bed so that she’s cross-legged and facing more towards Beca. “Well, I’m honored that you chose me as your not-dumb, thought-distracting, roommate-repellent person.” She assures Beca, who smiles a little in gratitude. “What’s up with Jesse?”

Beca sighs and looks down at her hands in her lap, swiveling her chair from side to side. “He called my dad to bail me out of jail. And I know that I shouldn’t be mad about that- I should be grateful, because if he hadn’t, then I would probably still be in there but,” Beca shakes her head in frustration. “My dad was going to help me move to LA after this year, and now he’s saying that he won’t because of all the shit that went down tonight.”

She lifts a hand up to quickly swipe under her eyes, and it’s only then that Chloe realizes she might be crying. She can’t tell for sure, though, because Beca has yet to raise her head. Chloe scoots closer to Beca and places a hand on her knee, which causes Beca to glance up at Chloe. Chloe can see that her eyes shine with frustrated tears, but show no evidence of spilling over quite yet. Beca looks back down at her hands.

“I just- I just wish Jesse hadn’t called him. Things between me and my dad are complicated, and he didn’t know that before he just went ahead and told him everything.” Beca scoffs suddenly, and Chloe retracts her hand at the abrupt shift in demeanor. “I don’t even know why he cares, you know? It’s not like we’re dating or anything. He has no obligation to help me, which is great because apparently he’s really shitty at trying to help.”

Another laugh escapes Beca, this one with a little less mirth. She reaches up to rub her hands over her face, breathing deeply. “But you know what?” Chloe, unsure if Beca actually expects a response, just hums imploringly. Beca drops her hands from her face to look at Chloe. “It feels kind of good, him trying to help. Him caring enough to try.”

“Yeah, well, it’s always nice to have someone on your team,” Chloe supplies.

Beca grins. “Even if they’re kind of a shitty teammate.”

Chloe laughs, feeling relieved that Beca is feeling okay enough to joke now. “Even if they’re kind of a shitty teammate.”

They smile at one another for a second before Beca glances at the time. “It’s pretty late. You should probably get going. And hey,” Beca stops Chloe’s attempt at standing with a hand on her forearm. “Thanks for listening. I- thanks.”

Chloe smiles and covers Beca’s hand with her own for a moment before getting to her feet. “It was my pleasure. Any time you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me. Also,” Chloe nudges Beca, “don’t be too hard on Jesse. He’s trying his best.”

Beca stands as well and starts walking Chloe to the door. She waves her hand dismissively and rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. He’s a good kid and all that.” She looks at Chloe mischievously. “Although, I might make him work for his redemption, just to see him squirm a little.”

Chloe laughs and shakes her head before wishing Beca a good night and walking down the hall. She hears Beca’s door click shut and smiles to herself, happy that closed-off, surly Beca Mitchell felt comfortable enough around her to confide in her. She just _knew_ that they would be fast friends.

That was the first time.

It started small.

* * *

Things get kind of muddled after that.

Beca starts opening up to Chloe more and more through the rest of the year, and through the years that follow as well. They grow close, and Chloe knows with certainty that she can call Beca her best friend, and she’s fairly certain that Beca considers Chloe as hers.

Jesse and Beca continue to date, and things are good between them. It seems like they have fun together, from what Chloe can tell. They balance each other out; Jesse forces Beca out of her shell and gets her to laugh when she’s grumpy, and Beca provides much needed reality checks to Jesse when his dreams start becoming a little too unrealistic.

Things are good with them.

And yet, things aren’t always so good.

They don’t always understand one another like they probably should, and they don’t communicate well enough sometimes to work out their misunderstandings. Some days they’re completely fine and happy and in love, and the next Beca is shutting Jesse out, or Jesse runs out of patience for Beca’s constant sarcasm, or they disagree about one of Jesse’s favorite movies again.

They fight.

Chloe knows they fight, because Beca always comes to her when they do.

Beca doesn’t always tell Chloe they’re fighting, but Chloe can always tell. Sometimes Beca will talk about it, sometimes she won’t. Sometimes Chloe asks about it and sometimes she doesn’t. Sometimes Beca seems upset about it and sometimes she doesn’t seem upset at all.

It’s not exactly a perfect formula.

Still, whenever Beca asks for company Chloe gives it to her.

The first few fights end up similar to the first one, with Beca ranting to Chloe while she sits in her desk chair, on the floor, the other end of the couch, while Chloe keeps her distance and just listens to her vent.

One day that changes a bit.

One day Chloe is in her room on her bed, reading _A Confession_ (gotta love that Russian lit) when she hears the front door slam shut, followed by the stomping of feet up the stairs. Chloe’s brow wrinkles in concern just before her door creaks open. Beca’s head pops through the opening, and Chloe can see that she has tears in her eyes, even from across the room. Chloe puts her book down.

“Beca, what’s wrong?” she asks, sitting up and gesturing Beca inside.

Beca slips into the room and shrugs, sniffling a little. “Just… a dumb fight Jesse and I just had. It’s stupid. It’s fine.”

Chloe shakes her head while Beca slowly approaches the bed. “If it made you upset, then it’s obviously not stupid, and you’re obviously not fine.” Beca sits down on the end of the bed and looks at Chloe with shiny eyes. Chloe reaches out and wipes a lone tear from Beca’s cheek. “Want to tell me what happened?”

Beca nods her head, but doesn’t say anything, seeming to think about something. She hesitates for only a moment before crawling up the bed to curl up into Chloe’s side. Chloe’s heart melts, and she wraps an arm around Beca, stroking a hand through her brown locks as Beca starts to tell Chloe what her and Jesse had been fighting about.

Things change a little, after that. Beca becomes much more… touchy, with Chloe. But only when she’s upset about Jesse. Chloe’s generally a touchy-feely type of person, and always latches onto Beca whenever she’s around her, but Beca only initiates contact when she’s upset.

Instead of Beca sitting in her desk chair complaining about Jesse, it’s Beca curled into Chloe’s side complaining about Jesse. Instead of Beca spread out on the floor telling Chloe what she did to make Jesse upset, it’s Beca laying with her head in Chloe’s lap telling Chloe what she did to make Jesse upset. Instead of Beca sitting on one end of the couch- and so on.

A weird thing starts to happen where Beca doesn’t even have to tell Chloe that she and Jesse are fighting in order for her to know they are. Beca doesn’t have to tell her, because Chloe can tell how their relationship is going based on Beca’s proximity to her at any given point.

When Beca and Jesse are fine, Beca sits across the table from Chloe. She walks beside Chloe with a couple of feet between them. Beca very much has her personal space bubble around her when she and Jesse are fine.

When Beca and Jesse are _not_ fine, the distance between Beca and Chloe disappears. Beca sits next to Chloe at dinner, their feet knocking playfully together. Beca loops her arm through Chloe’s or around her waist when they walk together. They cuddle during movies while Beca plays with Chloe’s fingers to avoid getting bored.

This, unlike when Beca does and does not talk about her fights with Jesse, is a pretty perfect formula. Chloe has it down to a T.

And Chloe goes along with it. Of course she goes along with it; Chloe loves physical contact. She’ll take it whenever she can get it, especially when it comes from Beca.

* * *

Beca comes home late from hanging out with Jesse, one night. Chloe’s already in bed, halfway asleep when Beca slips quietly into her room.

Chloe’s eyes crack open as light from the hallway leaks in momentarily from the open door as Beca enters, before the room is bathed in darkness once more. “Beca?” She murmurs. “What are you doing here at,” Chloe glances at the time, “12:30 at night?”

“Nothing,” Beca’s voice answers from across the dark room. “I just wanted to see if you were still awake, but you’re already in bed, so…” Beca trails off, and Chloe can make out her form moving towards the door again.

She sits up slightly, propping herself up on her elbows. “No, no, it’s alright. I wasn’t really asleep yet,” she assures Beca, beckoning the other girl over to her before realizing she probably couldn’t see her very well in the dark. “Come over here.”

Beca slowly makes her way over to the bed and Chloe scoots over a bit so there’s room for her to lie down next to her. Beca feels around for a second for the top of the sheets before slipping under them, making herself comfortable on her side facing Chloe.

Chloe mirrors Beca’s position, one hand under cheek. Even in the dark, she can tell that Beca seems upset about something. “You wanna talk about?” she asks quietly.

Beca sighs. “Not really. Jesse was just being super annoying about his stupid movies again.”

Chloe nods her head in understanding. “Yeah, sounds about right.” Beca chuckles a bit, her breath hitting Chloe’s face in a puff of air. Chloe decides to go for a subject change, since Beca didn’t want to discuss it tonight. “Did Stacie tell you about the guy in her chemistry class that she got paired up with for labs?”

“She hasn’t slept with him already, has she?” Beca wonders.

“No, but she _almost_ did. She said he wanted it, but she was going to make him work for it.”

“Good Lord. Does that woman ever rest?”

They continue to talk until they’re both yawning, and when Beca falls asleep, Chloe doesn’t try to wake her up to send her to her own bed. She just pulls the small brunette close to her and goes to sleep right along with her.

Beca starts to spend the night with Chloe a lot more after that.

* * *

Another peculiar thing that Chloe has noticed is that she doesn’t particularly like Jesse anymore. That she has some deep-seeded resentment towards him now that wasn’t there before.

It’s not like she and Jesse were ever good friends, but Chloe never disliked him, either. Recently, though, she’s only felt… disdain, any time she was around him.

Chloe figures it’s because of Beca. Beca never really talks about Jesse with Chloe unless it’s to rant about him, so Chloe has really only ever heard the not so great parts about him, and none of the great. It makes sense that Chloe would learn to despise Jesse a little. After all, she’s seen her best friend cry over him several times, so of course the protective side of her would rear up whenever he was around.

That must be it. Has to be it.

* * *

The first time Beca and Jesse “break up” is the first time Beca and Chloe have sex.

Beca is upset, and understandably so. Chloe is concerned about her. Sure, Beca and Jesse had fought before, and there have been a few close calls where they don’t speak to each other for a few days, but things have never escalated to them actually _breaking up._ Beca is distraught and Chloe is worried.

Chloe holds Beca as she cries. The two of them are on Chloe’s bed, Beca’s head buried in Chloe’s shoulder, practically sitting on the older girl’s lap as sobs wrack her small body. Her tears soak through the material of Chloe’s t-shirt, but Chloe couldn’t care less about that at the moment.

It’s been about half an hour since Beca had flown through her door in a mess of tears and emotions. At first, Chloe had tried to get Beca to tell her what happened, but all Beca had been able to manage was a broken “Jesse… fight… broke up,” so Chloe had decided to let the subject drop and just offer her comfort and support.

So it’s been about a half hour of Beca crying in Chloe’s arms when her tears finally start to subside until Beca is still and quiet, though still clinging onto Chloe. Her voice is scratchy when she speaks. “He got upset because I told him that I didn’t want to go home with him for Thanksgiving.”

Chloe’s eyebrows lift, surprised that Beca is talking, and even more surprised that she’s actually talking about what happened. “What? Why… why would he break up with you over that?”

Beca sniffs and finally lifts her head from Chloe’s shoulder. “He didn’t end things because of that. It was… He thought that me saying that I didn’t want to go with him meant that I wasn’t serious about us. Like, I was ashamed of us, or something.” Beca fiddles with the hem of Chloe’s shirt as she talks, seeming to like the distraction the small action brings. “I told him that he was being ridiculous, because that wasn’t what it was at _all,_ it was just that I was wanted to spend Thanksgiving with the Bellas since it’s our last year together and all that.”

Chloe nods her head in understanding. The Bellas had been talking and had made a half-formed plan to stay at Barden for Thanksgiving and celebrate together, but nothing had been set in stone yet, so Chloe was a little surprised to hear that Beca already seemed to be planning on it. “So he got mad at you for wanting to spend Thanksgiving with us instead of him?”

Beca nods her head glumly, eyes staring blankly at nothing in particular. “Yeah. He said I wasn’t _dedicated enough_ in our relationship, and that I didn’t seem _invested_ anymore. So he said that if I wasn’t going to try, he wasn’t either, and then he ended it.” She laughs bitterly. “I didn’t even know what to say. I just told him that it was fine by me, even though it really wasn’t.”

A few more tears escape Beca’s eyes and she wipes them away absent mindedly. Chloe can’t make out what the empty look in her friend’s expression means, so the just rubs a hand over Beca’s back and offers small words of comfort.

Then suddenly something changes in Beca’s face. Her eyes become hard, her jaw clenches, and her eyebrows draw together. “He’s a piece of shit.”

Chloe’s hand stills and she’s taken aback by the aggression and bite laced in Beca’s tone. “Yeah, he kind of is,” Chloe offers hesitantly.

Beca moves away from Chloe and gets off the bed to pace the room. “I mean, I’ve given nearly three years of my life to him. Three years! Those are three years that I chose to stay at Barden for him. Three years that I could have spent in LA paying my dues and getting my foot in the music industry door instead!” Beca runs her hands through her hair as she continues to pace. Chloe tracks her movements with wide, worried eyes. “I put my _life_ on hold for that piece of shit, and what does he do? He tells me that I’m not _invested_ enough? I can’t believe I wasted so much time caring about him!”

Beca stops her pacing and clenches her hands into fists, glaring angrily at the door. For a moment, Chloe thinks she might punch something; hopefully something that isn’t _her._

“Bec-“ Chloe starts hesitantly, only to cut herself off abruptly when Beca suddenly spins on her heels and stares down Chloe.

Now, Chloe’s never been scared of Beca. Sure, she acts tough, and when she was a freshman she was all ear spikes and dark eyeliner, but even then Chloe was never wary of her. The truth was, Beca was small. Unintimidating. Someone who acted tough to compensate for how very non-threatening she was.

But right now, in this moment, Chloe is scared. She knows Beca isn’t mad at her, but she does know that Beca needs to get her anger out. And it seems that she’s going to choose to take it out on Chloe.

“Beca?” Chloe asks, alarmed as Beca starts walking quickly towards her. “Beca, what are you doing? Think about what you’re doing. Don’t do something you’ll regre-“

Chloe is cut off again, but this time she is cut off by a pair of lips against her own. Chloe’s eyes widen at the unexpected turn of events. Beca’s eyes are closed tight, and her hands grip Chloe’s shoulders hard enough to almost be considered painful. Chloe’s own hands remain clutching the sheets like she’d been doing when she thought Beca was going to attack her.

After a moment, Chloe composes herself enough to draw back from the kiss. Beca lets her go, and opens her eyes to meet Chloe’s. Her eyes are dark with something that Chloe can’t comprehend. “Beca, what’s gotten into you? What- what is all this about?”

Beca shakes her head and cups Chloe’s jaw with one hand. “Please, Chlo,” she whispers.

That’s all she says before she leans in and captures Chloe’s lips once more. Chloe resists for all of about three seconds before she lets herself sink into the kiss. Because this is Beca, and when has she ever turned away Beca?

So Chloe turns off her brain and allows herself to be pushed on her back as Beca climbs back on the bed and straddles her hips, never letting their kiss break. Beca kisses her hard, and Chloe opens her mouth to let Beca’s tongue to slip inside. Chloe’s hands come up to weave into Beca’s hair, but Beca grabs them and pins them above her head as she moves down to nip and suck at her neck.

Chloe knows what this is. Chloe knows that this is Beca getting out her frustration towards Jesse on Chloe, that she’s just an outlet for Beca to use as a distraction. She also knows that this isn’t the healthiest way that Beca can be dealing with her break-up right now. Beca should be trying to talk this out more, should be taking a few days to process her emotions instead of pulling Chloe’s shirt off and over her head to rake blunt nails down toned abs, causing Chloe to arch and groan beneath her.

And Chloe shouldn’t be letting her do this. It feels like she’s taking advantage of Beca in her emotional state, and she’s positive that Beca wouldn’t be acting this way if she was of sound mind right now.

Yet, as Beca’s hand reaches down to undo the button on Chloe’s pants and slip a hand inside, Chloe finds that she really can’t care about any of that right now. After all, Beca and Jesse broke up, so there’s really no harm being done, and Chloe’s helping her friend cope.

Everything was fine.

* * *

Beca and Jesse get back together two days later.

The two of them are holding hands at the annual Barden a cappella Thanksgiving party when Chloe spots them. Jesse’s sporting a wide grin and Beca lets him drag her around with no complaint.

Beca meets Chloe’s eyes from across the crowded room before looking away. She avoid Chloe’s gaze for the rest of the evening.

They don’t talk about the other night.

Beca goes home with Jesse for Thanksgiving. She doesn’t talk to Chloe for the entire break.

And Chloe doesn’t reach out in return.

* * *

It starts to become a pretty regular thing, them hooking up. Whenever Beca and Jesse “break up” or say they’re on any sort of break, Beca always finds her way into Chloe’s bed. Or some bathroom during a party. Or the front room when no one else was home.

They weren’t exactly picky.

After a while, though, it stops being a thing that only happens when Beca and Jesse fight. They find any excuse to touch, to kiss, to peel away layers until they’re laying bare for roaming eyes to explore.

He almost catches them, once. It's in the middle of the afternoon so everyone is away at classes, leaving the Bella house empty.

Conveniently empty.

They're in the kitchen, not even doing anything _entirely_ sexual. They're just kissing. And Beca's pants are undone. And Chloe's shirt is across the room. And maybe Beca has her pressed against the refrigerator with a thigh between her legs.

Chloe didn't even mean for anything to start. She always had lunch at home on Tuesdays and Thursdays, since all of her (two) classes of the day were done by noon. She was used to having a couple hours of alone time until the rest of the girls started coming home at around two or three.

But on this particular Tuesday, Beca was there when she got home. Chloe had been happily surprised to see her friend, and started on her usual routine of making lunch. While standing at the island putting together a sandwich, Beca had slowly made her way over until she was pressed against Chloe's back, her lips slowly working over Chloe's neck, shoulder, and ear.

Chloe really couldn't be blamed for letting things heat up from there.

So there they were, grinding against each other against the refrigerator, when they hear the front door open. Stacie's voice fills the front entry hall, followed by Jesse's.

Beca and Chloe immediately freeze, and Chloe sees Beca's eyes widen at the same time hers do before Beca pushes herself off of Chloe to find her shirt. Chloe, in the meantime, tries to run and hand through her hair and regain her composure so that it _didn't_ look like Beca was about to take her right there in the kitchen.

Chloe's shirt is flung at her from somewhere to her left a moment later, and she pulls it on just as Stacie and Jesse come into view. Chloe greets them as warmly as she can and moves over to her sandwich to make it seem less weird that she was just standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen. Beca says hello as well, and Chloe's eyes widen when she sees that the button of her pants is still undone. She gestures as subtly she can so that Beca will understand, and Beca's eyes flash with panic. Beca moves behind the island to fix herself while Chloe maintains a steady conversation with Jesse and Stacie. Chloe doesn't relax until Beca gives her a quick 'okay' sign.

Although her heart is still thudding in her chest from adrenaline, she can't help the small grin that appears on her face as Jesse asks what they've been up to. Chloe sees a matching smirk on Beca's face when she answers him with, "Oh, just making some lunch." 

* * *

Chloe finds that she runs out of excuses for why she’s sleeping with Beca one day. She comes to a point where she can’t explain exactly why she’s helping Beca cheat on her boyfriend; can’t think of any reason why she continues to let Beca go down this path that leads to certain destruction.

She has no reason to explain her actions until one night when it all comes crashing down on her, and she realizes with resounding clarity why she always goes along with whatever Beca wants with no complaint.

The revelation comes while Chloe lays in the dark quiet of her room, Beca asleep with her head resting on Chloe’s chest. Chloe’s thoughts are a torrent in her mind, filling her head with guilt and confusion. Her hand strokes along Beca’s bare back, enjoying the way the soft, easy movement provides some comfort in her troubled state.

Chloe looks down on Beca’s face and brushes some of her hair aside, watching the way her eyebrows twitch every so often from whatever dream she was having. A fond smile starts to form on Chloe’s face, and that’s when it hits her.

She was in love with Beca.

She was in love with Beca, and that was why she went along with this whole situation. That was why she could never turn Beca away. That was why she got a bad taste in her mouth whenever she saw Beca and Jesse together.

That’s why she was okay with going behind his back. With hurting him.

Suddenly Chloe felt like she could throw up. She was a _bad_ person. This wasn’t just about helping Beca anymore; she was having sex with Beca and subconsciously hoping that she would leave Jesse for her.

Chloe slides out from under Beca and throws back the covers, getting up off the bed in search of some clothes. She pulls on some underwear and an oversized sleep shirt that reaches mid-thigh and quietly slips from the room.

Chloe’s in the kitchen, sitting at the table drinking some tea and trying to calm the panic currently gripping her when Beca finds her, donning a sweatshirt and a pair of sweats. “Chloe, what’re you doing up?” she asks, rubbing at her eye with a fist and blinking to adjust to the light of the kitchen.

Chloe avoids Beca’s eyes and takes a long drink from the tea in her hands. She’s silent for a moment before quietly saying, “We can’t do this anymore.”

Beca just stares at her, confusion evident on her face as she processes Chloe’s words. Chloe sighs, suddenly very tired.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about, Beca. We can’t keep sneaking around behind Jesse’s back. _I_ can’t keep sneaking around his back, at least. You _should_ feel the same way.” Chloe rubs her hands up and down her arms, just for something to do in order to deal with the fact that Beca is just standing there, saying nothing. “It’s driving me crazy with guilt and… and I can’t keep going on like this when I know that you don’t feel anything for me.”

Still, Beca remains quiet. Her eyes have drifted down to where she’s twisting her fingers together. Anger suddenly blooms in Chloe’s chest.

“Aren’t you going to say anything? Or are you just going to keep standing there refusing to acknowledge the fact that you’ve been cheating on your boyfriend with your best friend?” Chloe’s hands slap down on the table. “Say something, Beca. Anything!”

“Okay,” Beca’s quiet voice is a stark contrast to the slightly louder volume that Chloe’s voice had risen to. Beca looks up at Chloe, passive expression on her face.

“Okay?” Chloe asks.

“If you want to stop, we’ll stop.” Beca says simply.

Chloe blinks. “Okay.”

Beca walks away, leaving Chloe sitting alone in the kitchen, somehow feeling worse than she did before.

* * *

They don’t talk for two weeks.

Two weeks are filled with pointed avoidance and awkward silence.

Chloe feels miserable for two weeks. Somehow she had foolishly assumed that ending the sexual side of her relationship with Beca would still leave the friendship side intact. Instead, all she is left with is their forced interactions as captains at Bellas rehearsals, and even then those are laced with tension.

They don’t talk for two weeks, and Chloe is miserable.

Even without her newly discovered feelings for Beca, Chloe would still feel awful. Beca was her _best friend,_ and now she just suddenly wasn’t. Chloe couldn’t confide in her anymore, couldn’t tell her about her day. She couldn’t force her to watch a movie with her after a bad day, cuddled up under a blanket with Beca occasionally throwing popcorn at the screen because of how cheesy the actors were. All of that was gone.

Her automatic party companion was gone now, too. She and Beca always stuck by each other’s sides at parties; drinking, dancing, and whatever else they wanted to do. Always together.

Now, as Chloe glumly takes a sip of the horrible tasting punch being served at whatever frat party she’s at, she’s forced to try to fill that void with other people. Tonight it’s Stacie that she’s decided to hang out with. Only, Stacie’s been making out with some guy in the corner for the last fifteen minutes, leaving Chloe to stand dejected and alone.

She’s considering getting some more punch – it’s awful, but at least there’s alcohol in it – when a commotion by the front door of the house catches her eye.

Beca – who she didn’t even know was at this party – is storming towards the exit with Jesse hot on her heels. Jesse looks upset- looks _angry._ Beca makes it out the door and Chloe sees Jesse grab her shoulder roughly and say something just before the door shuts, blocking them from view.

Chloe quickly shoves her cup into the hands of some jock that smells like weed and, forgetting that they haven’t spoken in two weeks and Beca likely doesn’t want to see her, rushes out the door behind them.

Beca and Jesse are arguing on the front lawn when Chloe finds them. Jesse is no longer touching Beca, so Chloe is less concerned about her safety, but the aggression with which they hurl their words at each other is still cause for concern in Chloe’s eyes. Chloe has been on the clean-up side of so many of their fights, but she has never actually _witnessed_ one. If all were as intense as this, no wonder Beca was always such a mess afterwards.

“I just don’t understand why you thought telling me in the _middle of a party_ was a good idea, Beca,” Jesse is arguing, his arms waving around for emphasis as he speaks, the volume of his voice on the verge of yelling. “Why wouldn’t you wait until we were home to start something like this?”

Jesse’s back is to the house, so he can’t see Chloe as she slowly takes one step down from the front porch, but Beca’s eyes flick over his shoulder to land on her, causing Chloe to freeze where she stands.

“Probably because I didn’t want to go home with you?” Beca’s voice isn’t as loud as Jesse’s, but it is laced with sarcasm and mockery. Her eyes move away from Chloe to focus on Jesse again as she folds her arms over her chest, almost seeming to be bored of the fight already. “I don’t see what the big deal is. We’ve broken up before, what’s so different about me saying we should actually break up for real?”

Jesse laughs bitterly. “I care less about what you said versus when you chose to say it. I ask if you want another drink, and you answer by telling me you want to break up? What kind of bullshit is that, Beca?”

Chloe has to stop herself from snickering. The move sounded so absolutely _Beca_ that she had no doubt that’s exactly how the situation played out.

“I just- it’s just that,” Beca trips over her words for a second before pausing to compose herself. “I realized in there that I don’t really want to be doing this anymore. I wasn’t having very much fun, and I knew that saying we should break up would be the only way you’d let me leave because you _never_ let us leave when I want to leave.”

“That’s not true,” Jesse scoffs. Beca shoots him a pointed glare in response before bowing her head to look at the ground. “And what do you mean by you don’t want to be doing this anymore? _This_ meaning us, or _this_ meaning being at this party or-“

“I’m in love with Chloe!” Beca suddenly bursts, head snapping up to take in what Chloe assumes is Jesse’s surprised expression. At least, Chloe assumes he’s surprised, because she herself is _shocked_ at Beca’s confession. Her mouth drops open and she can’t stop the small gasp that escapes her.

Beca’s eyes snap to Chloe at the small sound, but Jesse doesn’t seem to hear. “You’re- Chloe- _what_?” he splutters, hands coming up to grip his hair. “You’re in love with Chloe?”

Beca is still looking at Chloe over Jesse’s shoulder, and her eyes soften as she says, quieter than before, “I’m in love with Chloe.”

Chloe doesn’t know what to do. All of her senses have blocked out everything around her except for Beca’s eyes staring into her own, the sounds of the party becoming a faint echo in the back of her mind. She distantly hears Jesse start talking again, but doesn’t register what he’s saying until Beca tears her gaze from Chloe.

“How long have you been in love with her?” Jesse asks, despair evident in his voice.

Beca thinks for a moment. “I’m not sure. I think it’s been… I think I might have been all along.”

A tear falls from Chloe’s eyes at Beca’s words. She doesn’t bother wiping it away.

Jesse heaves a great sigh. “As much as I hate to admit it, I can’t say that I’m completely surprised,” he says tiredly. “I’ve been suspecting that there was something there for a while, but I never thought that it would actually be true.”

Beca looks at Jesse sadly. “I’m sorry, Jesse,” she whispers. “I never meant for this to happen. Never meant to hurt you like this.”

Jesse shakes his head. Laughs once. “You know, I think it might be for the best,” he says with fake optimism. “Like you said, we’ve been through this before; what’s so different about doing it for real.” Jesse starts walking, moving past Beca only to stop at the edge of the lawn by the sidewalk. He turns to face Beca, and she spins slowly to face him. “For what it’s worth, I’ve had fun forcing you to talk to me, Becs.”

A chuckle sounds from Beca. “And I’ve almost enjoyed watching movies with you, weirdo.”

A small smile forms on Jesse’s face and his eyes flicker over to see Chloe, still standing on the porch step. Something like understanding passes over his expression, and he nods his head once, acknowledging her before turning to walk down the street.

“I meant it, you know,” Beca’s voice breaks Chloe’s focus, and she rips her gaze away from Jesse’s retreating figure to look at the small brunette staring up at her. “That I’m in love with you, I mean.” Beca clarifies. “I wasn’t just saying that to get him to leave.”

Chloe can’t help but laugh, because it’s such a _Beca_ thing to say. She also can’t help the way her feet carry her down the remaining steps and into Beca’s arms, kissing her soundly.

Beca smiles as she pulls back from the kiss. “Can you forgive me for being such a shitty person for the past few months?”

Chloe rolls her eyes. “I think I can muster up some forgiveness in this equally terrible heart of mine.” Beca laughs and pulls her into another kiss, one which Chloe happily returns.

* * *

So it started small, with Chloe being a good friend to Beca by hearing her out. It became muddled and complicated somewhere along the way until eventually they were almost torn apart all together.

But as Chloe watches Beca flop down on her bed, reaching up to run a hand through her hair as she tells Chloe about all the good parts of her day, Chloe finds that she doesn’t mind the fact that things got difficult along the way, because ultimately everything worked out in the end anyways. So yeah, Chloe doesn’t mind.

Chloe doesn’t mind one bit.

**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever write anything that's not roughly 5,000 to 6,000 words about Beca and Chloe realizing their feelings for each other? I'd like to know, too, so stay tuned to find out!
> 
> Currently trying to figure out Tumblr, so go witness my attempts at that at becasbelt!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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